The Technology Trap
Guide for Parents
Navigating social media and technology with kids
By Nicholas Mediate, Psychotherapist and Manager of Behavioral Health
In today's world, technology and social media are deeply woven into the fabric of our children's lives. From smartphones and tablets to gaming consoles and even their classrooms, screens are ubiquitous and, realistically, here to stay. While these technologies offer incredible opportunities for learning, connection, and creativity, they also present a range of challenges and potential downsides that mental health professionals, educators, and parents must be aware of. By understanding these risks, we can develop effective strategies to help young people navigate the digital world safely and responsibly.
As kids embark on their digital journey, here are some common pitfalls for parents to watch out for:
Fear of Missing Out (FOMO): One of the most prevalent issues is FOMO. Social media often showcases a highlight reel of everyone's lives, leading kids to feel anxious or excluded. Seeing curated images of seemingly lavish lifestyles or extensive social interactions can trigger feelings of inadequacy and social anxiety. For example, a group text with friends might initially seem fun, but the pressure to keep up with events or the conversation itself can quickly escalate into a "FOMO tornado." Kids can feel like they're not getting the full experience with their friends by not having their attention on what’s going on with them at all times.
Dopamine come-down. The addictive nature of screens and social media can come on quickly like a tsunami. The dopamine-driven behaviors associated with likes, comments, and gaming rewards can lead to a "come down" period characterized by irritability and increased screen use. Games like Fortnite, with features like the Battle Pass, are designed to be highly engaging and can contribute to anxiety and addiction. Simple awareness and supervision can help prevent dependencies and excessive use.
Algorithms. Algorithms play a powerful role in shaping what kids see online by curating content and creating echo chambers that reinforce certain viewpoints and potentially exposing children to harmful or misleading information. Kids often lack an understanding of how these algorithms work, making them more susceptible to their influence.
“Let your kids know that—just like looking both ways before crossing the street—they have the ability to safely navigate the digital world.”
Echo chambers. Online groups and echo chambers can have both positive and negative effects—just like a house of mirrors. While they can provide a sense of community and shared interests, they can also promote negative behaviors or attract predators. It's vital to be aware of the types of groups your children are participating in and to discuss potential dangers.
External validation. Social media can amplify the insecurities of a developing child and send them down a path to nowhere. The pursuit of validation through likes and comments can trigger anxiety and stress. Fluctuations in engagement can impact a child's self-esteem, making them overly reliant on online reactions.
Data Privacy: Privacy concerns are another danger zone. Data harvesting by companies and the difficulty of monitoring online activity can put children's personal information at risk. It's crucial to have open and honest conversations with your children about online privacy and the potential dangers of sharing personal information. Disappearing messages also make it impossible for parents to check what their kids are sending on those platforms. Without real-world experience and practical context, children often lack the necessary judgment to navigate the complexities of an online presence. Here’s a great resource on this topic from Common Sense Media.
Practical strategies for parents
Model the behavior you’d like to see.
As caregivers, we need to take an active role in guiding our children's technology use. One of the most effective strategies is modeling the behavior we want our kids to adopt. Children are always observing, and if we're constantly glued to our screens, they're likely to follow suit. It's essential to set a good example with our own screen use and to collaborate with other families and schools to establish shared boundaries.Foster curiosity.
Encourage your kids to question the content they encounter online. Watch and engage with online content together, and have open discussions about what you find. Practice asking them about their favorite games, videos, or influencers without judgment. Encourage them to express what they like or admire about these things and remind them that they have agency and choice regarding how they spend their time and energy.Promote structure
Predictable schedules and healthy habits can also make a significant difference. Implement schedules and tech-free days to create balance, and suggest alternative activities to replace screen time. Setting boundaries is essential, and parental controls on devices and routers can help. When you establish boundaries around technology and social media, openly communicate them with your family and community. In addition to setting limits, it's equally important to have regular discussions about online content and involve kids in the boundary-setting process.
Navigating the digital world with kids requires open communication, clear boundaries, and a balanced approach. Talk with your kids about online content and empower them to make informed choices. Strive for a healthy relationship with technology and social media, and let your kids know that—just like looking both ways before crossing the street—they have the ability to safely navigate the digital world. The steps you take are there to help your children enjoy the benefits of technology while minimizing the risks.
When to seek help
It's never too late to address emerging issues. If you notice signs of excessive screen use or mental health concerns like anxiety, depression, or ADHD, don't hesitate to seek help. Many resources are available to support families who need guidance, and seeking extra support on this topic is common. Any mental health care provider will agree: There's no downside to seeking help sooner rather than later.
Nicholas Mediate is a Psychotherapist and Manager of Behavioral Health who specializes in family therapy and video game addiction. Nick appreciates how virtual therapy visits can open opportunities that may not be available in person and he loves meeting and working with Blackbird Health families from all over.
